Sunday, June 10, 2018

G R O W T H | C O N F I D E N C E

You get to a point in your life, and this is after you’ve been in and out of severe depression for the past nineteen years, and after the latest group of medication you’re taking has finally made you more stable than you’ve ever been, you eventually begin questioning things. Like, “Why have I always tried to make people happy?” That’s a question I’ve been asking myself A LOT lately. And I have a very simple answer: I have, unbeknownst to myself, been groomed to be a people-pleaser. And this is different than being a people person, which I still am. Thing is, my anxiety and depression, as well as my upbringing, told me that in order to be liked, I must be a follower... of EVERYONE. I must agree with everyone or I will be judged. I can’t have a opinion of my own because someone might disagree with me. I can’t ask anyone to do anything for me because I am not important or worthy enough to ask someone a simple question. It’s all ridiculous! And it hurts and angers me to think I have lost so much time trying to get people to like me while I should have been finding out who I am. Being thirty-six years old with a wife, three kids, and a full-time job doesn’t exactly afford me the time to figure that out. 


Thankfully, I have an incredibly supportive wife who accepts me for not only who I am, but who I want to be. If there is one thing I could go back in time and tell the younger version of me, it is this: Don’t waste your time trying to be perfect, and don’t worry about fitting in.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

2 comments:

  1. I really love reading your posts, Brandon. I can relate to your feelings in a lot of ways as someone who has struggled for many years with mental illness, or as I prefer to call it wellness, as well. Your ability to be so candid is inspiring. Keep it up!

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  2. I really appreciate it! Thanks, Hillary!

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